A Very Special Easter

Tweet

So, this past week and a half has been a whirlwind! Bentley had a birthday. He is now 8 years old! I admit that while I am happy and grateful, that happiness is tinged with a little fear in knowing that the average lifespan of a boxer is only 10 years. I know I need to live in the present and enjoy every day with my sweet boy, lest my days be tarnished by worrying over tomorrow. Most of the time I can, but more and more I find myself faced with the fact that my beloved Bentley, the one person (for he is endowed with more personhood - at least in my eyes - than many people, say.... people like those occupying the White House at the moment, for instance) who has been a constant in my life for 8 years. Goodness gracious Bentley has been my longest relationship!!! Ever!!! He truly has been my life's companion and I love him beyond what I am capable of expressing.

Of course, now I also have a new companion for my life and a new love, Joshua. He does not replace Bentley or minimize the love I have for Bentley. Joshua has his own place in my life and in my affections. I have been thinking a lot lately about my relationship with Joshua and our marriage. It's natural, I suppose as very soon (6 weeks!) we will celebrate our 1 year anniversary. We started out kinda rough. That first month was H-A-R-D! But every month after has just gotten better and better.

I think every relationship has its breakthrough moments, though. Those moments when you finally break through all that has gone before, all the imperfections in yourself and your partner and the relationship and you just accept each other and love each other unconditionally. That is where the real "one-flesh" development starts to happen I think. For us that breakthrough moment happened this past Sunday - Easter Sunday - at church. We had a slightly stressful Saturday and, even before Saturday I had (off and on) been plagued by doubts as to Joshua’s feelings for me. I have had those doubts ever since the day we married actually.

Sunday sitting in church right after Pastor Ryan finished preaching is when it happened. It was a very powerful sermon (although some of it was a little beyond my grasp, I confess) and made a huge impact on Joshua. He sat silent, in prayer I suppose, for several moments while others went down for the Lord’s Supper. Finally, with tears in his eyes, he turned to me and apologized for some things and confessed some guilt he had been feeling about some feelings he had been having. He told me he really loved me and was ashamed of how he had been feeling lately. I started crying too and immediately forgave him.

We have grown closer and our bond stronger since Sunday. There is more trust and more openness between us. I hope this will continue to grow and develop and that we will always remember Easter 2010 as a very special day. Easter…. Resurrection Day… a day of rebirth and new beginnings. Lord thank you for ours and thank you for sending Your Son!