Two weekends ago my sweet friend Maristela and I took some time and went down to Knoxville for a visit. It was a great time! We talked, we laughed! We were total girls!
It was the first time I had been back to Knoxville since I moved to Louisville in 2008. I was able to reconnect with sweet friends like Julia, Lisa, Barb and Luan. We visited some of my old haunts and enjoy some of my favorite places. We even went out dancing (shocking!). It was a blast.
One of the highlights of the trip was our visit to CAK (Christian Academy of Knoxville). I worked there for almost 3 years. My co-workers as well as the families who have students at CAK have had a profound impact on my life. CAK blessed me beyond words. It gave me direction, a sense of purpose, a sense of family and connection.
As I walked the familiar halls and saw all the growth and the changes I was so proud. And sad too. I no longer wanted to go to England. I wanted to stay here. And I realized something, something very special. When asked, "where are you from," I've always answered, "I'm from Brazil, but my parents are from Baton Rouge, Louisiana." Mostly because I did not feel there was a place here in the U.S. that I had lived long enough or that I had enough connections to really call "home." That is not true, after all. Knoxville is home for me here in the U.S. That is because of CAK and the special, special people God brought together there.
Thank you CAK staff, faculty, parents and students for being such a special chapter in my life. I love you SO, SO much. I am closing this post with a song - a song by Andrew Peterson. I was listening to it on my ipod the other day and it reminded me of CAK and what happens on that campus every single day.
Friday, April 9, 2010
A Very Special Easter
So, this past week and a half has been a whirlwind! Bentley had a birthday. He is now 8 years old! I admit that while I am happy and grateful, that happiness is tinged with a little fear in knowing that the average lifespan of a boxer is only 10 years. I know I need to live in the present and enjoy every day with my sweet boy, lest my days be tarnished by worrying over tomorrow. Most of the time I can, but more and more I find myself faced with the fact that my beloved Bentley, the one person (for he is endowed with more personhood - at least in my eyes - than many people, say.... people like those occupying the White House at the moment, for instance) who has been a constant in my life for 8 years. Goodness gracious Bentley has been my longest relationship!!! Ever!!! He truly has been my life's companion and I love him beyond what I am capable of expressing.
Of course, now I also have a new companion for my life and a new love, Joshua. He does not replace Bentley or minimize the love I have for Bentley. Joshua has his own place in my life and in my affections. I have been thinking a lot lately about my relationship with Joshua and our marriage. It's natural, I suppose as very soon (6 weeks!) we will celebrate our 1 year anniversary. We started out kinda rough. That first month was H-A-R-D! But every month after has just gotten better and better.
I think every relationship has its breakthrough moments, though. Those moments when you finally break through all that has gone before, all the imperfections in yourself and your partner and the relationship and you just accept each other and love each other unconditionally. That is where the real "one-flesh" development starts to happen I think. For us that breakthrough moment happened this past Sunday - Easter Sunday - at church. We had a slightly stressful Saturday and, even before Saturday I had (off and on) been plagued by doubts as to Joshua’s feelings for me. I have had those doubts ever since the day we married actually.
Sunday sitting in church right after Pastor Ryan finished preaching is when it happened. It was a very powerful sermon (although some of it was a little beyond my grasp, I confess) and made a huge impact on Joshua. He sat silent, in prayer I suppose, for several moments while others went down for the Lord’s Supper. Finally, with tears in his eyes, he turned to me and apologized for some things and confessed some guilt he had been feeling about some feelings he had been having. He told me he really loved me and was ashamed of how he had been feeling lately. I started crying too and immediately forgave him.
We have grown closer and our bond stronger since Sunday. There is more trust and more openness between us. I hope this will continue to grow and develop and that we will always remember Easter 2010 as a very special day. Easter…. Resurrection Day… a day of rebirth and new beginnings. Lord thank you for ours and thank you for sending Your Son!
Of course, now I also have a new companion for my life and a new love, Joshua. He does not replace Bentley or minimize the love I have for Bentley. Joshua has his own place in my life and in my affections. I have been thinking a lot lately about my relationship with Joshua and our marriage. It's natural, I suppose as very soon (6 weeks!) we will celebrate our 1 year anniversary. We started out kinda rough. That first month was H-A-R-D! But every month after has just gotten better and better.
I think every relationship has its breakthrough moments, though. Those moments when you finally break through all that has gone before, all the imperfections in yourself and your partner and the relationship and you just accept each other and love each other unconditionally. That is where the real "one-flesh" development starts to happen I think. For us that breakthrough moment happened this past Sunday - Easter Sunday - at church. We had a slightly stressful Saturday and, even before Saturday I had (off and on) been plagued by doubts as to Joshua’s feelings for me. I have had those doubts ever since the day we married actually.
Sunday sitting in church right after Pastor Ryan finished preaching is when it happened. It was a very powerful sermon (although some of it was a little beyond my grasp, I confess) and made a huge impact on Joshua. He sat silent, in prayer I suppose, for several moments while others went down for the Lord’s Supper. Finally, with tears in his eyes, he turned to me and apologized for some things and confessed some guilt he had been feeling about some feelings he had been having. He told me he really loved me and was ashamed of how he had been feeling lately. I started crying too and immediately forgave him.
We have grown closer and our bond stronger since Sunday. There is more trust and more openness between us. I hope this will continue to grow and develop and that we will always remember Easter 2010 as a very special day. Easter…. Resurrection Day… a day of rebirth and new beginnings. Lord thank you for ours and thank you for sending Your Son!
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