Home Improvement Part II

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"To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often." Winston Churchill
I joked yesterday about how greatly Joshua's life has improved since his marriage to me. In reality, it is Joshua who has helped me to improve. Even before we were married he was always concerned with helping me be my very best. He continues to encourage me to strive to improve and to better myself daily.

• My love is concerned about my physical well being. He always encourages me to eat better: less fast-food and more organic. We started working out and exercising together. Joshua even turned me on to running. We now run together several times a week.
  
• Joshua is interested in my mental development. He is very much a believer in the "garbage in-garbage out" theory of mental development. It has been his mission to make sure that there be as little "garbage in" as possible, where my mind is concerned. To that end he has encouraged me to read thoughtful books designed to get me thinking more deeply on edifying and Christ-centered topics. "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." Philippians 4:8
  
• He longs to know my heart. Joshua craves to spend hours in deep, meaningful conversation with me. This has pushed me to open my heart and learn how to share my deepest thoughts and feelings. It has challenged me to strive to become a better communicator. We engage in deep conversations on a regular basis. As I become more accustomed to this kind of deep sharing, I foresee this happening more and more frequently, with the conversations lasting for hours. That he so longs to delve into the depths of my heart is a testimony to his love for me and I love him for it.
  
• Joshua cares about my walk with the Lord. He wants to know that I am growing in my knowledge, understanding and reliance on God. It matters to him that I am able to have time alone with God daily. It is also a priority that we share times of worship, prayer and talking about spiritual things together. Through Joshua's spiritual leadership I have grown in my faith and knowledge of God. When we can pray about something together it strengthens our bond and brings us closer. It is a way of teaching me trust: in him, and most importantly, in God.

So, for all the little trifles I may have added to his life, Joshua has added things of infinitely more value to mine. Things such as memories, wisdom and love. Thanks, baby!

Home Improvement

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It is a wonderful and humbling thing to witness positive changes in the life of another and know that one has had a hand in bringing them about. Take Joshua, for instance. There have been many positive changes in his life since we got married. For starters I have opened him up to the worlds of Lost, Psych and Harry Potter (he actually went and saw the Half-Blood Prince in the theatre with me TWICE!). He is also learning Portuguese. Granted his vocabulary is currently limited to words and phrases such as chato (aggravating), bum-bum (butt), linda (beautiful), querida (sweet), and so on, but he is learning.

Lest you think I only impart frivolous knowledge to my husband, let me assure you that his theology and logic are also much improved since we've been married. For example: this weekend we met a young man, a very, very Southern Baptist young man - at least in Joshua's assessment of him. Some time after we had parted company with the gentleman Joshua made the observation that he was very much a Southern Baptist and it was very obvious. How so?, I wanted to know. Well, said Joshua, it was obvious he was well fed in that fried-chicken, fried-catfish-eating kinda way. When I pointed out to Joshua that he was well-fed too he brushed that aside saying it was different, he wasn't that well-fed. I pointed out that it sounded a little bit, just a tad, as if he were passing judgment on the young man. Without missing a beat he replied:

"I'm not passing judgment. I'm stereotyping. It's different."

See, I learned in Seminary that that is what you call the doctrine of justification. And, yes, my kind of logic is rubbing off on him a bit. (Good one, honey!)

He is also catching on to my sense of adventure. Two weeks ago Southern Seminary had their annual Fall Festival on the great lawn. Thisone was extra special in celebration of the Seminary's 150th anniversary. They had a rock-climbing wall, bmx riders (which I kept calling motorcross - I mean, how different are they, really?), jousing, burgers, candy, and .... - a mechanical bull!!! So, guess what yours truly decided she wanted to do? You got it! Ride the mechanical bull! Joshua did not want to at first, but once I rode he decided to give it a go. So we rode and I got a bruised elbow, a very badly banged up knee and some whip-lash to show for my pains and Joshua got a cut hand. But it was worth it!

Tune in later this week to find out how I have improved since marrying Joshua - after all, marriage is a two-way street. For now, enjoy the pics of our now infamous mechanical bull ride!

All Talked Out

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I can't believe Joshua and I have been married for 4 months now! It has been wonderful and hard and amazing and sanctifying all at once. And boy is marriage tiring. I think I have figured out why a century ago people got married when they were teenagers. Teenagers actually have the energy and stamina it takes to be married! As for me, at 32, uhm.... - not so much.

Why am I so tired, you ask. I will be happy to tell you. I work every day and then come home to an apartment that (unlike my apartment when I was single) has changed! It has morphed during my absence. Things are no longer where I left them. Even Bentley, the dog (although, we do not call him that in his presence for fear of giving offense), is not where I left him. Because I now have a husband occupying my life and home, I will leave and return to find things not where they should be. Men's shoes are not in the bedroom closet but in the living room under the end table, coffee mugs find their way into every room of the house and books and pens lay scattered on the floor of every room. Keeping up with it all is very tiring for someone who, I confess, can be a little particular.

And then, there's the talking. Joshua can out-talk Oprah if he puts his mind to it. Sometimes it's like being married to a woman because he wants to talk, and talk, and talk! I get home after work so looking forward to my quiet little home with just me and Bentley, as God intended. Right? Wrong! Now I walk through the door and I'm met with, "Honey, how was your day? Look at this book I got, you should read it too. I'm hungry. Wanna go for a walk? Wanna have people over tonight?..."My eyes just glaze over and roll back into my head. Did he not get the memo about women talking twice as much as men? So why does he want to talk twice as much as I do?

I have been learning to appreciate this trait in Joshua over the past four months. He, in turn, has learned that I need some Jenna time - especially right after a long day. Still, this past Monday as we sat in Dr. Cutrer's Marriage Enrichment class I was more than a little gratified when a big PowerPoint screen flashed up on the wall with a big caption that said:

WE ARE DIFFERENT

                                   Women 20,000                                                   Men 7,000

Dr. Cutrer went on to explain that the caption showed the number of meaningful words used in a day by men and women. I couldn't help smiling real big at Joshua who just smiled back cluelessly. See, I was thinking, there it is for God and the world to see that it just isn't normal for a man to want to talk that much. However, I realize he wants to truly know me and learn my heart. And is not that our heart's true desire, deep down - to be deeply, truly known and to be loved and accepted by one who truly knows us? It is much the same way that God knows our very hearts and loves us still. In marriage we have the one earthly relationship in which we are free to be vulnerable and free - yet wholly loved.

Parabéns to Summers! It's her birthday so here is a pic of my beautiful girl on her special day. I love you Summers and I hope today is wonderful for you. You are so special and I can't believe Paxton is already a month old! (more pics!!)